You see, a few months ago, my boyfriend, an important doctor, went to Cambodia to work with underpriveleged kids. Well, he hadn’t been calling or writing, and after calling Cambodia to ask about him, I found out that he had moved on to Vietnam to work with kids exposed to Agent Orange. Then, I started having these weird dreams that he was drowning and asking for my help, and my elderly psychic neighbor upstairs thinks it’s important to listen, so, long story short, I’m going to Vietnam essentially on a whim.
Oh no wait, that’s Mary Worth.
Which leads us to topic 2: Yes, I read Mary Worth. I realized how awesomely bad it is when she got a stalker who looked exactly like Captain Kangaroo who would pop out of random bushes to insinuate lewd and inappropriate things to her like going on a date sometime, then she and her equally smug friends decided to hold an intervention for him, after which he became so distraught that he drunkenly drove off a cliff and died. Sweet.